off the cuff: the question of the sex object

This question of the sex object always comes up in discussions of women and erotic work. When the question arises it always seems that one big looming fact always gets ignored.

No woman is an object, not a sex object, not any kind of object. She is firstly a human being and perfectly capable of speaking and telling you how she feels on any given day on any given stage. If you want to interpret her as a sexual object because you–or someone else desires her–be prepared that at some point between the desire and the desired sexual act (if it gets that far) you’ll probably discover that this object speaks. In which case, in order to make the fantasy a reality, the real woman not object will always emerge. Secondly, this woman is living in a capitalist economy–she has to pay her rent–and she may or may not also consider herself a performer, an artist, both or all of the above. Why not speak to her and ask how she feels?

20.09.2010. Waiting on the plane for the virgin Atlantic flight to take off from heathrow to san Francisco.

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