The last and most painful thing I’ve learned from my contacts with gay men is how the war between the sexes looks from the other side. As embarrassing as it is, I finally had to concede that women engage in a lot of behavior that is homophobic or sexist, and that it is women who enforce much of the sexual repression of the children they raise. This doesn’t mean that I think women are equally responsible for their own oppression. Men get most of the goodies from the system and have the highest investment in keeping it running. But I no longer feel that all women are innocent victims, and all men are misogynist monsters

Pat Califa, “Gay Men, Lesbians, and Sex: Doing It Together.” [1983] Public Sex: The Culture of Radical Sex, Cleis Press. San Francisco, 2000